Having been a dog owner, I get that dog’s like to stick their noses in inappropriate places. Of course, what’s inappropriate to you and me is considerably different than what’s inappropriate to a dog. Their sense of smell is their most sensitive sense and they use it to sniff out the world around them, even and especially if that part of the world happens to be someplace on you that you’d rather not have sniffed.
I’ve also determined that the size of the sniff tends to mirror the size of the dog. Small dogs tend to give small sniffs, and big dogs tend to really go for the gusto. Although I’m not generally a fan of small dogs, I have to admit, in this one area, I tend to favor the small-dog sniffs over the large-dog snorts.
Our dearly departed dog Riley was a big dog who truly excelled at the inappropriate sniff. While other dogs didn’t seem to mind his aggressive sniffing, the same can’t be said for the humans who found themselves on the receiving end of one of his inquisitive snorts. Although we would try to intercept him before he could move in for the grand sniff, often he would elude our grasps and before we could stop him, he’d commit a moving nose violation. We would explain to the sniffee that this was a “dog thing” and hoped they would understand, but I tend to think our lack of visitors over the years might have had something to do with the fact that our dog was a repeat sniff offender.
Since your own dog doesn’t need to sniff you, I was fortunate not to be on the receiving end of Riley’s sniffs. But once he was gone, I suddenly seemed to be prime sniff bait for every other dog out there. At first I didn’t realize this had become a trend. But I soon noticed that for some reason I had become incredibly appealing to a variety of dogs. I tried to take this as a compliment, but there is just so much inappropriate sniffing a girl can take before she has to draw the line.
Then one day as I was taking a walk, I saw a friend coming toward me who was walking her dog. This dog was also a repeat sniff offender and had recently completed a 12-step sniff program. Because of this, I was optimistic we would have a more subdued meeting. But as they approached me, the dog suddenly pulled away from my friend and ran toward me. I lowered my hands and braced for the sniff, but instead the dog leapt up and tackled me to the ground. He slobbered across my face and when I opened my mouth to complain, his tongue met mine and we exchanged a full-on doggie kiss.
Page 2 of 2 - “Oh, look, Booker kissed you!” exclaimed the owner. “Isn’t that sweet?”
I wiped my mouth in disgust. “Actually, I’d rather be sniffed.”
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