Boilermaker and Beyond

A number of years ago, around this time of year, the United Way hosted a race called The Monster Dash. It was a cute event that had people in race-friendly costumes running a 5k at the SUNY-IT campus. For some reason I rented a fox costume for the event. Now this was more than just a mask- we’re talking about a complete costume (including claws). It really was an impressive getup; I certainly spooked people at the office when I walked in with it on and no one could figure out who it was. It was certainly a bit out of character for me!

The day of the race was picture perfect; clear skies, slightly cool with a breeze- great running weather.

Well, it was great running weather if you’re dressed appropriately; unfortunately wearing a full length fox outfit is not appropriate!

After about a quarter of a mile the internal temperature of the suit had risen dramatically.

After the first mile the humidity felt like 100% and it seemed like I was sweating from places I had never sweated from before. The head had to come off! Our heads are like little heat exchangers (very important to regulate your brain temperature) mine was creating rivulets of perpetration.

So for the next two miles I alternated between fox head and sweaty human head. The rubber claws got stuffed into a pocket.

Needless to say the outfit was a bit ‘odiferous’ after this little jaunt. I probably smelled like a real fox out in the wild! After I got home I changed in our garage knowing full well my wife would never invite this sweat-drenched costume in the house.

I must admit I really felt badly for the costume shop as I returned the fox getup I wondered if they thought it just might be easier to burn the thing rather than attempting to clean it.

While I think there is real opportunity for Halloween-themed runs and walks (I know there was recently a skeleton run and a zombie walk) I would strongly suggest to any participants to pick their outfit carefully or you will smell strongly.